Monday, 13 June 2011

20 WORST SONG COVERS OF ALL TIME ACCORDING TO MOI

WHITNEY HOUSTON - ‘I will always Love You’
Automatically replace the word ‘love’ with ‘hate’.

LINDA RONSTADT - ‘Blue Bayou’
Makes you want to wretch it’s so sickly

ROD STEWART - ‘Downtown Train’
Brutally suffer someone else’s mid-life crisis.  

SHRIEKBACK - ‘Get Down Tonight’
The only spine in this bass-line is that of a jelly-fish

BLINK 182 - ‘Another Girl Another Planet’
Disney-Channel were on the production team.  

JOE COCKER – ‘You can leave your hat on’
Cocker takes a lot of stopping having spent 40 plus years making awful covers.   

FINE YOUNG CANNIBALS - ‘Ever Fallen in Love’
Pure unmitigated drivel from the band that also butchers ‘Suspicious Minds’  

ROBBIE WILLIAMS - ‘Song 2’
The only one who went “whooo hoooo” was Robbie and the legion of schoolgirls in the front row.

PRONG - ‘Get a grip on yourself’
No listen to me – you get a grip on yourselves!

PHIL COLLINS – ‘Tomorrow Never Knows’
His cover of a Beatles masterpiece is like a kid with crayons interpreting Picasso. 

JOHN PAUL YOUNG and FALL OUT BOY-  ‘Love will tear us Apart’
Both serve-up in equal portions renditions which exude all the power and emotion of a wet face cloth.

WALLFLOWERS – ‘Heroes’
You can be plagiarising passion-killers just for one day.

NO DOUBT – ‘It’s my Life’
Message to Mark Hollis; Sue the pricks!

LIMP BIZKIT – ‘Faith’
Limp? You mean flaccid more like.  

UB40 CHRISSIE HYNDE – ‘I Got You Babe’
Not if I run quickly and block my ears at the same time.

SOUNDGARDEN – ‘Fopp’
They should have spelt it with an L behind the F.

SHAGGY and LUMIDEE – ‘Feel Like Making Love’
More likely to ruin your libido permanently with one listen.

THE EXIES – ‘Once in a Life Time’
They ate all the flesh off the corpse and then sucked the marrow from the bones.  

THE OFFSPRING – ‘Feelings’
If you had any feelings for the rest of humanity you would have never done it.

SAVE FERRIS – ‘Come on Eileen’
Even as kids did you guys have an imagination?  

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