DAVE DOBBYN AND HIS LEGION OF LIVING-DEAD

In the same week I heard some positive earthquake news, suicide-rates had dropped post quake, I came across a person who actually attended the Dave Dobbyn with the Christchurch Sympathy (sic) Orchestra Concert last night. Naturally I instructed him to remove all poisons, solvents and sharp-objects from his household, least he is overcome with dark-thoughts as a result of attending, what the uber-conservative Christchurch Press reviewer headlined ‘Orchestra can’t improve Dobbyn’. The only way of improving Yoda’s conjoined twin would be to get him drunk, strip him of his Old Testament and teleport him back to when The Dudes were doing pubs and every ‘young thing’ they could get their grubby paws on. It goes without saying last night Dobbyn played such ghastly numbers as ‘Slice of Heaven’ and purportedly as tragic as this sounds some of the audience danced, that’s to say threw off the blankets on their laps before their nurses recommended calming down for the sake of their health. Dobbyn and his legion of living-dead need reminding of Friedrich Nietzsche immortal words “In heaven all the interesting people are missing.” The actual concept of a classical/hybrid version of ‘Whaling’ is enough to produce my own wailing akin to a Middle Eastern woman at a funeral. In a city overcome with post earthquake morose Dave Dobbyn with an Orchestra is like inviting Leonard Cohen to sing at a children’s birthday party. Moving the Nietzsche theme on – this video below is what a proper ‘buck me up’ concert in Christchurch should have looked like. I’ll run the idea by the committee at The Rannerdale War Veterans Home for their stamp of approval.