Die! Die! Die! Live at WunderBar Lyttelton 26th Dec

VINEYARD CONCERTS IN THIS COUNTRY SUCK

Until recently, 15^th December 2012 to be exact, I had never attended a music concert held in a Vineyard.  

Perhaps my neurosis was not on par with other Kiwis my vintage because wine vineyards seem to be the ‘in’ place these-days when it comes to open-air concerts in N.Z.   

I had previously been well out of the loop confining my concert going to the strangest of venues – a concert hall.    

On Saturday 15^th I tasted (pun intended) my first experience of bands plonked among the vines, deckchairs, blankets and pissed kindy mums.   

Devo, Simple Minds and the Church playing Villa Maria in Auckland. 

If this was a bottle of over-priced vintage I would have spat it out, protested to the waiter it was corked – not that I even drink wine – I’m way too unsophisticated to waste money on that muck.   

I’m not taking away anything from the bands or the sound on the night. 

Devo had lost nothing from the last time I saw them 25 years ago.

Simple Minds were on key, played too little of their ‘interesting’ earlier stuff for my liking.  

The Church were always a bit soppy for my tastes but to be fair to their fans they put on a great performance.  

However all of these bands performances were impinged by the incessant chatter from the crowd.  

Soon after The Church twanged their first chord I learnt a sizeable chunk of the crowd was only there to sing-along to the one or two songs they could vaguely remember from their last listen.

That was when cars came with cassette players.  

It may as well have been the races at Ellerslie or Addington as far as they were concerned. 

Now I’m not adverse to getting pissed at concerts – even if the beer offerings on this occasion was isolated to the sponsors watery, sugary lager offering – but at least I have respect for people who paid money to listen to the bands by keeping my trap shut.  

This was thought of as more of a social occasion for many rather than a musical occasion.  

A chance for four-wheel-drive owning mums to compare kids reports and government property values, eat cheese and crackers from well-appointed picnic baskets.          

A grand opportunity for their similarly over-dressed husbands to get-together, natter about sailing on the harbour earlier in the day, golf handicaps whilst their kids, yes couples turned-up with brats, could kick an empty wine bottle about getting bored shitless with their parents taste in music. So much for it being a R18 gig.    

I would doubt it most punters at Villa Maria would even own an album by Devo or Simple Minds.  

Conclusion: If you are vaguely into music, truly love a band Vineyard Concerts are going to piss you off, better left alone unopened on the shelf.  

                                                      SEE WHAT I MEAN ANNOYING?! 

     

So where's the Songs about Christchurch?

Christchurch’s devastating earthquakes have spawned a whole range of cathartic ‘support’ songs.  

But really for the number of songs penned by N.Z musicians pre-quake wise on the topic of ‘Christchurch’ as a living-place, is by my count thin on the proverbial ground.    

Taking-out The Exponents anthem until recently Christchurch hasn’t been top of the subject matter amongst local song writers.   

This is bemusing since writing about a place you know must surely make easy subject-matter, stir up the mental juices – apparently not?    

A situation made more perplexing when you take into account over their lifespans most Christchurch bands are lucky to travel further afield than Dunedin, sell their music as north as Whangarei so when ‘Christchurch’ pop-ups in the lyrics somewhere it isn’t going to be exactly ‘foreign’ to the prime audience.  

The only reason I can think of why Christchurch song-writers avoid penning tunes about a place so dear to their heart is: embarrassment.  

The traditional Kiwi cringe factor (TV Ones Sunday at 7:30) 

 

Kiwi's are somehow inferior, no one in Britain or USA wants to hear what we have to say.  

A notable exception amongst the locals is probably Roy Montgomery. 

I am open to further submissions here but it is kind-of sad Christchurch bands don’t sing the praises or otherwise of the place they live and often die.     

 

My humble ‘off the top’ list comprises just:

Exponents ‘Christchurch’

Roy Montgomery (heaps on above album)

Steve Allen ‘Join Together’ (1974 Commonwealth Games Tune)

Opshop ‘City of Cities’  

And who could rightfully leave out……

 

 

 

 

  

Is this what six grand gets ya?

ARTIST: Victoria Girling-Butcher (no she didn’t ride in The British Equestrian Team)

TAX-PAYER FUNDING: $6,000

FUNDING APPROVED BY NZOA: April 2012

VIDEO UP-LOADED ON YOU TUBE:  September 2012

VIEWS PER DAY IN ITS FIRST WEEK: 50  

Come-on you are pulling my leg – this is what six grand gets you in terms of a video??  

Some tart jiggling up & down like she wants to go to the toilet, then twirling her hair and dancing around like a singer from B52’s all in a darkened studio?

Is there a Jungian concept to this I am not deep enough to grasp hold of?

Will it look different if I have ‘a smoke’ first?  

Is this video impossible to view if you are over 30?  

Just how many similar videos could one shoot in an eight hour day? 

Aren't all computers loaded with Windows Video Maker?  

Corporate Welfare courtesy of N.Z On Air

This is a video by Dictaphone Blues that came out a week or so back.

It was funded by you and me courtesy of N.Z On Air.

In-fact the $6,000 it cost you and me was allocated back in April.   

  

Around the same time I spent six hours of my own time making a humble You Tube Video of my own.

This is it:

  

Both videos are currently attracting about 20 views a day.

Theirs is better – but better doesn’t always mean more popular as this example shows.

Piss all views in the overall scheme of things.

But I’m not too worried because I do it for the love not to make money for myself, certainly not to support a multi-national corporate like EMI.

I hear you ask "What’s this got to do with EMI, a company that made approx NZ$600 million in 2010?"   

Well Dictaphone Blues are signed to EMI.

Do you feel this is a good use of your taxes?  

WANTED: MUSIC FROM CHRISTCHURCH ALTERNATIVE MUSICANS FOR A COMPILATION CD

The Concept: A Compilation CD featuring alternative music from Christchurch, one where the bands market the music and reap the rewards. A sort of ground-roots musical cooperative, where we have local bands working together to market their talent.    

What’s it going to be called?:  ‘They Crawled from The Rubble’  

What do you means by ‘alternative’?:  This CD will offer an avenue for artists who wouldn’t normally get a look-in in the commercial world. I welcome bedroom, dodgy garage recordings, taboo subject matter etc. It just has to be ‘interesting’ and provocative. Google: ‘Natures Worst’ and you’ll get the gist. Kindly: for Christ’s sake no rap, middle of the road cobblers or death metal.

So how do I get on this CD?: You send me the MP3 to whenpa at gmail. If I and my elite team of musso’s don’t like it, please don’t take it personally. I have had CHART Disc turn-down my own music. It's part of the scene. Send us something else that may pass muster.   

What am I signing up for?:  The last thing I want to do is commit my own money to a CD, then be left to marketing it and having a 100 CD’s left in my study to get rid of, when I only have so many relatives to give-to at Christmas into that sort of shit. Remember this is a cooperative effort – not just ‘my baby’. By submitting a MP3 you acknowledge you will commit to purchasing a minimum of 10 CD’s. That’s loosely $75 to $100 (the exact amount will vary depending on the number of artists, standard of packaging etc) Note: I will need this money up front to get the CD’s printed. 

What’s in it for me?: (a.) You get something ‘out there in the market’. Band ‘A’ may sell their CD to Punter ‘X’ who thinks “boy I like that song by Band B” and come to your next gig or buy other stuff you have floating around. We feed off each other talents or lack of them! (b.) You get a CD at wholesale rates to sell for what-ever you can get. You can order as many as you like as long as you pay for them in advance (c.) This is a ‘no brainer’: the whole thing about playing in a band is playing to, building an audience.    

Will it be on Bandcamp?: No, but it will be in our two remaining record shops.   

What is in it for you?: Not a cent, the knowledge I assisted local musicians, bought a smile to a few dials, is enough for me. Plus it's the only way I can get my own band 'out there'.   

Who the hell are you?: Paul Gilbert from WhEn PEts ATtacK!  

When will it come-out?: Roughly March 2013. Good things take a bit of time, it’s not going to be easy bringing this altogether. Don’t sweat it if it takes longer. Delays will not be down to me, rather artist apathy.  

Oh yeah: There will be an album launch gig, where we’ll have as many bands as possible playing a short set of stuff including their mega-hit off the album.

Who is going to promote this?:  You! Spread the word! Tell othere about this grand co-operative project  

Got a Question?: Then why not place it in the comments section below? Other artists may have a similar query. Please no anonymous comments. Tell us who you are.

R.I.P JON LORD: DEEP PURPLE IN CHRISTCHURCH 1975

The first album I ever purchased was ‘Deep Purple in Rock’. The year was 1972, the price was a staggering NZD 7.99 – which probably coverts to NZD 50.00 in current terms. I still have this album 40 years later. I also managed to see DP live in 1975 at QE2 Stadium here in Christchurch. This was a controversial concert which had the local Press’s ‘Letters to The Editor’ deluged with complaints about the noise. Deep Purple was the first major concert in the stadium which had hosted the Commonwealth Games the year prior. The band arrived into Christchurch in a 707 ‘freighter’ chocker on a Sunday with what was then amongst the world’s loudest sound systems. Almost certainly ‘the’ loudest PA to ever land in Christchurch. Anyway rather naively the bands speakers were set up facing into the cavernous main stand from midway across the grass infield. Aided by the ever present easterly wind and the ‘shell’ of the stand, the band could be heard clearly all over the city that Monday evening (17^th November 1975) My parents could hear them playing in Burnside which is approx. 10kms east of QE2. For those like me with tickets in the said stand the sound was deafening. How deafening? Well the next day I had to go home from school because I couldn’t hear a bloody thing! My mates cousin drove me to the concert and on the home journey none of us bother to speak because we weren’t trained in lip reading! Local residents to QE2 wanted further concerts banned, but settled on the reduced sound levels. Footnote: QE2 Stadium was decimated by the February 2011 Christchurch earthquake and is due to be demolished sometime shortly.   The doco gem below was from the concert they did in Auckland a four days previous to Christchurch. Set-list of the N.Z Tours songs here.